Photographer day
by cheeseandoreosHP
Summary: Next generation fanfiction about what happens when the Weasley/Potters turn up at Hogwarts photography day for a family portrait and the predictable chaos ensues... Rated T because I am way, way too paranoid. Nothing inappropriate.


**So I've been writing fanfiction for a while but this is the first story I've actually plucked up the courage to publish. It's a kind of experiment of sorts, so feedback is more than welcome!**

**This story involves a couple of OC's and I have taken a few liberties with JK Rowling's story lines, such as Fred living and Luna/Neville ending up together, because lets face it, it was most definitely a typo! I know Lorcan, Lysander and Alice are all children of Neville and Luna's separate relationships but... poetic license. **

**I've also given Fred three children and a wife, and Charlie is married to Verity (featured in Fred and George's shop in half blood prince) with two children. I've given both really eccentric names just because it fit my personal perception of Charlie quite well. **

**Finally... I really wish I was JK Rowling, but as I'm not, please don't sue me. I seriously doubt my pocket money would be capable of stretching that far. They are not mine, sad as it is. **

Photographer day

"Oh, Lord. Brace yourselves, here they come!" Minerva McGonagall warned a harassed photographer.

Whoever's idea it was to do family portraits over the summer holidays deserved to be shot. Oh, wait... It was her who suggested it. Well never again! She said it every year, but meant it this time. Professor Longbottom had been attacked whilst attending to his daughter Alice, and had it not been for his wife Luna's timely stunner and Professor Hagrid throwing Goyle and Parkinson (Now Pansy Nott, but teacher's habits die hard) bodily from the hall, Neville would be jelly on legs. The ex auror shook it off, however, and continued to reprimand his teenage sons, Lysander and Lorcan, for stealing their sisters hairbrush.

And now to cap it all off, the Weasley clan had arrived. All 34 of them. Not that Minerva McGonagall didn't like the Weasley's. On the contrary they were her favourite family in the world. All the people in it were favourites with her, and Weasley, Potter or Lupin was about the best surname you could have, so far as she was concerned. Although she loved the Longbottom's with all her heart.

No, the Weasley's were the finest people anywhere, and she loved them dearly. But when they were all together (such a mass of flame red hair, diluted for the first time in history, but still overwhelming.) they were just a little- what was the word now? Enthusiastic. Yes, that sounded about right. Or perhaps overwhelming. That would describe it too. Or one could simply call it a chaotic, shambolic, messed up break down of law and order as some of the best pranksters Hogwarts had ever seen united and ganged up on her. That would describe it pretty well too.

Today, however, they didn't seem to be too hyperactive just yet. Merely loud. But loud... Loud wasn't bad.

"Molly! Arthur!" she said, greeting them. Molly Weasley, daughter of Audrey and Percy, had looked around in alarm for a moment, only to find it was her grandmother and not her who was being addressed, and returned to a very grave looking conversation with Hugo and Norbert.

"Sorry, Minerva." Arthur muttered as soon as he was sure his wife couldn't hear. "I attempted a calming charm but I only managed to hit Louis before Molly noticed, and that's not much use anyway."

She shrugged. "It's ok, Arthur. Free spirits and all that. Threaten to transfigure them into goats, always seems to work for me."

He grinned. "I'll bear that in mind next Sunday dinner."

"Ok!" Harry was yelling. "Enough, Lils! No, I've gone temporarily deaf and can't hear a word you're saying! Rosie! Transfigure him back please!"

"Aah, but Dad!" Albus laughed hysterically. "He's a much better goat than he is brother!"

Harry sighed, and with a smile tugging about her lips Minerva watched her mischievous ex pupil fight to keep his cool. He was also trying not to laugh.

Finally, thought Professor McGonagall, karma!

"Be that as it may, Al, the neighbours might talk if I let my son retain his goat like appearance."

"Please, daddy?" Begged Lily. "I won't take a second? And she's just over there!"

"She came for tea on Friday!" exclaimed Harry, running a hand through his hair.

"But-"

"When we're done, Lils! No, that's my final word! Rosie, Albus, transfigure him back!"

"But you know the counter curse, Uncle Harry!" said Rose Weasley earnestly. "Why can't you just transfigure him back yourself?"

"You, Rosa Minerva Weasley, are just as stubborn as both your mother and your father before you. I want you to put him right yourselves as you are the one who caused the trouble in the first place."

"Dad, you have to admit it would look odd if a goat just burst into a human in the middle of the great hall! Imagine what people will say!"

"I'm not too fussed about appearances, to be honest. Change him back!"

"But Uncle Harry, if you're not too fussed about appearances, surely you won't mind if your son is a goat for one tinsy photograph!"

"Well, I might not, but Grandma Weasley and Ginny most certainly do, Rose."

Minerva laughed, and focused on Adele, who was trying to persuade her husband, the legendary Fred Weasley, and his twin George, that the photography day at Hogwarts was not the best day to try and shift some Wicked Wheezes stock.

"Look, I appreciate the business opportunity, and if it weren't for your mother I'd be attempting to help you, but the thing is Molly-not you honey, it's fine, I was talking about grandma Weasley- is currently giving you both stink eye. Now, you want a repeat of Christmas, carry on-"

Which left poor Angelica and Lena (who had just completed her 7th year, and was mature well beyond her years) to deal with the 'wicked wheezes jrs' on their own, not a job Minerva envied.

"Look, all I'm saying is that maybe this isn't the best day to set off a bag of dung bombs." Lena was saying.

Georgina (or perhaps April?) laughed. "It's always the right day to set off a bag of dung bombs, L!"

"No, Fred Weasley! Not you, Fred, I was talking to- oh god where's he got to now?" Angelica cried.

Roxanna laughed. "To chat up the statue of Edgar the Eager, no doubt!"

"Not funny, Roxie. And Georgina, listen to your sister. Whatever pranks you may have planned, it is guaranteed Grandpa and Grandma Weasley will not appreciate them."

"Grandpa Weasley finds them hilarious; he just has to pretend not to. And I'm April."

"Well, Grandma Weasley then. And I'm sorry, April."

April laughed. "I'm Georgie really. Not you, Uncle George."

Chortling slightly, Minerva spotted Ron, attempting to all but wrestle a book out of his son's hand.

"Hugo! Please, your mother lent this book to you for the journey! She made it quite clear that you were not to read it when we arrived!"

"I'm not reading it, Dad; I just don't want to damage it. I'm holding it."

"Funny, last time I checked, holding did not involve a bookmarked page, or eyes moving over letters, or the turning of pages every minute or so. No, Hugo, give it here!"

"Ok, that's enough of that! Save it, please!" Bill was challenging Victorie and Teddy, whom had, until a minute ago, been kissing.

"Sorry, Mr Weasley." Said Teddy, with a glint in his eye that hinted, just maybe, he wasn't sorry at all. Teddy had never been like this before, McGonagall reflected. He was always extremely meek and respectful, and perhaps Bill saw the humour in the situation, as he grinned back.

"I'm of age now, Dad. I can do whatever I want."

Bill groaned. "I know, but do you think, just for the sake of my innocent eyes and your younger cousins, who follow your example in pretty much everything, it could wait until the family outing ended? Like, not in the restaurant either? Only it's quite hard to concentrate on food."

Ginny and Hermione, spotting how much trouble Harry was having, had rushed over to help him. Hermione's reasoned logic came into contact with her daughters, who had been marshalling her arguments. Ginny, however, was distracted by Lily.

"I'll just say hello, then I'll come straight back! Please!"

"No, Lily. Alice is busy with her own portrait at the moment. They're coming out to dinner with us. You can wait, half an hour, tops, can't you?"

Lily tried puppy dog eyes. Ginny laughed. "You're gonna have to do better than that, Lils. You know full well that those only work on your father."

"Oh, PLEASE!" she begged.

"No!"

Fleur was having trouble with Dominique and Louis. "Just for the photo, please!"

"I don't want to wear it, mum!"

"Your grandmother put a lot of effort into that cardigan, Dominique, and Louis, its one smile."

Louis started at her, blankly. Funny, he had always been the easy going one of the pack. Perhaps a little reserved, but never moody, and never incapable of summoning a smile.

Lucy, much to her father's distress, had decided today was the day 'the marauders jr.' would get their revenge on 'the wicked wheezes jrs.' and a decoy detonator began crawling up Roxanne's leg. She screamed as it morphed into a thousand spiders, which made Rose back up against the hastily erected green screen, which promptly fell over. It took a lot to freak Roxanne out, but spiders seemed to be a phobia she had inherited, since her Uncle Fred turned her teddy bear into a spider aimed for Ron. For Rose, phobia of spiders was genetic.

Flame laughed and high fived her. "Nice one."

She promptly had a dung bomb thrown at her head.

The noise was deafening, and chaos reigned. Other families were turning around to watch in annoyance or amusement, and Minerva decided, in the interest of her sanity, the hassled photographer's, and everyone else's, that it was time to intervene.

Only she didn't get five paces. "Quiet!" The entire family fell silent, all little arguments breaking up, as they turned to look at Molly Weasley (senior).

"Alright. Lily, stay still. You can speak to Alice once the photo has been taken and only then. Albus, Rose, transfigure him back. I do not want a goat for a grandson. Fred, George, you will vanish that stuff back to the shop or I will set it on fire myself. Georgina, April, Roxanne wasn't I quite clear there were to be no pranks today? Fred, no excursions! I don't care how much you like Edgar the Eager. Hugo, give the book to your father for safekeeping. Victorie, listen to your father. Dominique, put the jumper on. Everyone else is wearing theirs. Louis, please just smile. You don't have trouble usually. Lucy, Flame, Fred, no pranking for you either. Now, we're going to stand where the photographer tells us and have a nice family photo that I can frame and put on my wall. Understood?"

They nodded meekly, and the photographer watched in astonishment.

Fleur put an arm around Louis and Bill, Victorie leaning between the gap in her parent's shoulders and Dom next to her mother.

On the far left of the photograph, Charlie draped his own arm around Verity. Flame and Norbert kneeled in front of their parents, shoulders together.

On the right, Percy put an arm around Audrey, and Lucy and Molly kneeled in front, mirroring Charlie, Verity, Flame and Norbert.

Fred and George stood near the centre, next to each other but each holding their wives close. Lena sat down in front of them, and pulled Georgina and April down to either side of her. Fred and Roxanne stood either side of Angelina and Adele.

To the right of Percy and his family, Lily jumped on the now not a goat James's back. Ginny smiled, and pulled Albus into a hug, Harry draping his arm around them both.

On the left of Charlie, Rose gave Hugo a piggy back, and Ron and Hermione stood either side of their children.

Arthur watched in mild amusement. Molly smiled as she watched her family.

"I should hire you as a teacher, Molly." She laughed, completely and utterly blown away by the order of this usually ramshackle family.

Molly laughed. "I think I'll pass on that particular honour. Where do you want me and Arthur?"

"Come in the middle of dad and Uncle George." called Georgina (or perhaps April.)

As the flashbulb went off, Fred and George set off a filibuster firework. Everyone burst out laughing, their faces illuminated by red and gold Gryffindor sparks. Yet no one let go of anyone's hand.

And as Arthur Weasley looked at the photo, he thought not of how the moment of perfect calm had been ruined yet again by the fireworks, or of how his ramshackle family had all broken every one of Molly's rules at dinner, but of how perfectly that one photo captured the nature of every one of his beautiful loved ones, and how much laughter he was blessed to have in his life.


End file.
